Happy weekend dear friends. I haven't been inspired to do a doll for some time...and, lately, I've spent many of my treasured yet rare, quiet moments just drawing. So, last weekend, when I had been saving this vintage hankie for something very special I decided to make a Frida doll.
I also had a beautifully intricate old scrap of lace, an old silver plated candy dish which I turned upside down to use for the base and an old jello mold.
I hand sculpted the sweet Boo Boo kitty from paper clay and then painted her with acrylics.
For, you see, last weekend was a pretty awful weekend to tell the truth. My sweet Boo kitty, who my parents gave me 15 years ago after rescuing her from the woods near their home in the state of Washington, passed away.
In my lap.
With my hand on her chest and, I felt her heart stop.
We had taken her to the vet the day before and they kept her overnight. Thought it was liver failure. But, they called the next day to say she could come home with some antibiotics and thyroid medication.
I can't go into details because it is really painful but, I can tell you, that she died a couple of hours later. And, not the pleasant way they leave us when they are "put to sleep".
I saw the death throws and I can assure you I never, ever want to see that again.
At least she was with me.
That is comforting.
But, being that close to death, in its rarest form, stripped some of my innocence and I'm not sure if that is a good or a bad thing.
I have seen people that have passed on and I have been with animals when they are put down but I have never seen one leave this world in their own, natural time.
I love my animals so much, as I know many of you do too, that it is so hard to see them go.
I am crying again as I am writing this even though I purposely waited a week until I thought I would be able to compose myself enough to put these words to paper.
So, please know,
I am not sharing this experience to bring you down or to be depressing.
I know many of us have memories of losing our fur babies and that it is raw and painful for each of us.
Rather, I am just sharing to say,
I would never choose to feel any other way about God's living creatures.
I love animals too deeply? Yes.
I feel that they are closer to God then most people I know just like babies and children? Yes.
Losing them sucks terribly? Yes.
They are more real, sincere and unconditional than I could ever hope to be.
They give endless love and I will always, forever be eternally grateful for that.
And, I will continue to take them in.
And, not kill bugs and spiders.
Its not the way for everyone but, its the way for me.
And, that makes it all okay.
In memory of my sweetest girl Bagheera "Boo".
My only kitty that hugged me when I held her.
I loved hose hugs.
I will never forget them.